2010.

the last moments of 2009 were spent with friends and family. the first morning of 2010 was spent snuggling with my honey. the first morning of 2010 was also spent getting a fancy new pair of glasses and indulging in a few sales (aeropostale and bath and body works) as well as a white mocha. the first afternoon of 2010 was spent at kyle and jen's watching the winter classic and then playing wii fit. the first evening of 2010 was spent in my cozy apartment with my honey and my kitty, on our comfy couch eating dinner, sipping wine and watching the sugar bowl.

so why am i so cranky?

pms should be illegal on the first day of a new year. :o(

anyway.

happy 2010 everyone.

sparkly shiny people

i can't believe it's been almost a month since i've posted!  i have like 20 saved posts that i haven't finished ... written in all manner of foul and stinky moods ... and then i go back to them a day or so later and am not feeling it, so i never post them.  and so i thought it was time to actually post something today.  you know, for like the .5 readers i have anyway.  :o)

so ... what's been going on in my life?  well, dave and i got ENGAGED.  yep.  i know, you're shocked.  ;o)  we haven't made any definitive plans ... but we were thinking about a nice NEXT june or july wedding.  right now, i am just enjoying being in this limbo state where there is no pressure and nothing to do except kick around ideas and staring at my ring in various lighting to see where i get the best sparkle!  :o)

(mah bling)

i had a bit of a freak out period, of course.  i was extremely anxious about "taking the plunge" again.  i was worried that we would get married and things would instantly turn into yuckiness.  worried about joining everything and the expense of a wedding and then failure again.  but ... i've relaxed a bit ... and am just trusting my instincts (against MY better judgement!!! my track record SUCKS), the opinions of those around me and God.  it's extremely hard to do this ... but i'm too tired to worry anymore!

and so ... we are getting married.  we have a joint checking account.  he let me get hello kitty checks.  he bought me QUITE a ring.  he rubs my stinky work feet.  :)  he must really love me, right???

so ... what else?  work is ... the same.  i have stressful days ... and i have days where i love my job.  i am convinced that H is plotting to get rid of me ... but, hey, all i can do is my best and see what happens.  and i am trying my best.  i love my store and my people.  i am trying very hard to roll out and follow all the corporate baloney.  and i am counting down the days until i can demote myself to bookseller!  LOL.  oh well.  all i can do is take it one day at a time.

my etsy shop is collecting dust.  i am really into amigurumi ... and have great ideas ... but am too tired by the time i get home from work to really do anything but sit in front of the tv and whine (and wine :P).  and a day off these days doesn't necessarily equal sleeping in and relaxing.  i am ... craftually frustrated.  i am thisclose to just buying crafty things from etsy and claiming them as mine.  lol.  no, not really.  i could never do that.  but it's BAD when i am actually entertaining that thought.

hmmm.  i am trying to loose weight.  i am eating better and have cut out a lot of crap.  but the weight is hanging on and frustrating the heck out of me.  but, the way i see it is, unless i make a "life change" and not just "go on a diet" ... i will be carrying around this extra stuff forever.  so i am trying to focus more on just being *relatively healthy* rather than "INEEDTOLOOSEAMILLIONPOUNDSBYJULY".  so there is that.  lol.  think i'll go have a pudding now.  hehe.

i am working hard at staying organized.  keeping my home pretty clean and clutter-free.  i try to do a little each day so that i don't wake up one morning and the dishes and laundry are threatening to attack.  i do a little straightening, a little cleaning each day ... and try to stay afloat.  dave is a HUGE help (which still shocks my soul!) and helps with the money and budget ... it's just amazing living an adult life with a true partner and not just someone is along for the ride. :)  ok, so maybe i AM making the right decision for a change! ;o)

and that's about it.  taking a vacation day tomorrow and spending it with dave and his mum.  going to try and find a fancy dress for noelle's wedding and the bat mitzvah the week after.  trying to live the best i can each day ... and not let the daily crankiness and stress take me over.  :)

it's all good! :)

yup.

sometimes the kawaii images i find online are too perfect for words.  lol.  this is EXACTLY the way i've been feeling lately.  boss visit at the bookstore on wednesday just totally fried my brain and ate away a little part of my soul.  i came home and slept and then drank my troubles away.  yesterday was better but i did have another bad spell before bed.  i'm SURE the pms wasn't helping matters ... but i just really felt so low and defeated.  boss is very demanding and nit-picky.  just feel overwhelmed and not qualified.

another day, another sinus headache.  i am feeling a little better now but it's been a yucky couple of days.  but ... as of 6pm friday i am on vacation!!  and i can't wait to sleep late, crochet, read ... and sleep more! :)  i also have a nice little city trip planned with dave mid-week and a cupcake date with hyun and kaitlyn on friday.  a st. patrick's day party this saturday and the theater benefit next saturday.  a perfect blend of gatherings and relaxation time! :)  so happy!  now if i can just get rid of these stinkin' headaches ... i'd be perfect! :o)

arg.

this is what my sinuses are doing to my face at the moment.  i found this image and thought it was hilarious.  

tired.  counting down the MINUTES to vacation.  trying oh so very hard to not eat the boxes of girl scout cookies on my desk at work.  can't wait to party saturday night with dave and his family and then go see the rangers on sunday in the city!  just about finished with my amigurumi kitty ... just have to make the ears, a tail and then the sash for the dress.  i think she will be cute ... but this was SO labor intensive.  :\

watching american idol with da-veed and then heading to bed.  ooooh i think the sinus medicine is kicking in.  huzzah.

creepin' on.

feeling slightly better ... but it's hard to tell when all you've done for 3 days is sleep.  but, i suppose if i am sleeping this much, i needed it, right?

went to work this morning just to open.  when the mid manager came in, everyone sent me home.  so home i went, nyquil i took, sleep i did.  i was a little tired because, apparently, when i am sick, i am not as sound a sleeper as i usually am ... and dave's snoring kept me up all night.  i would try to wake him up to have him roll over ... and he started babbling about spreadsheets and work-stuff and how "it's not going to work."  lol.  it's funny now ... but a little frustrating at the time.

i worked for a like a minute on a amigurumi project ... i am hoping to get a little more done tonight after dinner.  i have a few cute ideas ... i just have to EXECUTE them.  but hopefully with being so sedentary these last few days, i will feel better and be able to do something tomorrow.  i should be back in action (i hope!!!) by monday. :)

it's been kinda nice, tho, doing nothing.  observing, dreaming, tuning out totally when i feel too overwhelmed.  i feel a little ... revived.  a little ... more me again?  i think i let work so totally take me over that i loose myself ... my creativity ... i loose ME.  but i am feeling a little more together ... and that makes me feel better (despite the cold!).  maybe i needed this cold/hibernation after my total-stress-out earlier this week.

and now i sit on the couch ... watching any NCIS, Law and Order, or House i can find. :)