home.

we just returned from a visit with w. i can't express enough how relaxing and recharging it was. i crocheted for 13 hours thursday!! that sure is my idea of heaven! :) i made a super cute cat and am just trying to figure out the whiskers and then it will be photographed tomorrow and up for sale in the shop soon! :) i am SO PROUD of this cat. it turned out exactly as i had hoped. i am adapting my pattern to create THE ONE ... and i think i just about got it. it's an amazing feeling to begin creating something ... and to finish it and be SO pleased with how it turned out. :) i also did some sleeping, some reading, some visiting with w and his amazing family ... and just sat with dave and w and listened to their amazing brains. the conversations these two have!!! :) i also did a lot of thinking. i am discovering some things about myself and my attitude toward life. and i think i need to make some serious changes.

it's hard now because we are living in a one bedroom apartment ... but when we do find a house, i need to create a cozy space. i need to create a "den" ... in the sense that i create a space where i feel cozy, safe and isolated ... removed from the world. being in my apartment, i am comfortable here ... dave and i have made our space great. but it's very ... smushed. work space blends with kitchen space blends with tv space blends with sleeping space. i look forward to a time where i can go into a room with knitting needles and yarn and you will actually have to go LOOK for me. spending time in w's amazing home, he's really created places where you can just burrow away and read or create ... and just feel like the world is a million miles away. i told him i consider his home my artist's retreat. he calls it the "haven" and it is certainly that. :) i am blessed to have met this wonderful person (and not just because he has an amazing home!!) :)

i also let the world affect my head WAY to much. home has not become the haven i remember from my childhood. again, don't misunderstand, our apartment is amazing and coming home to dave and mittens has made my life. but i don't let the world fall away like i once did. as i get older, i worry more. i pick at things more. i let past unhappiness creep into a perfectly good day. when i come home and kiss dave hello and am greeted by mittens at the door, i want to totally forget the customer who yelled at me because i won't take back their item. and i want to NEVER let the past ruin a perfectly good day.

i say it over and over again ... but i need to relax. i am lucky because my work stress level has decreased significantly ... but i still carry that worry on my shoulders. i am blessed because i have an amazing fiance ... but continue to last the past creep up and scare me ... while also waiting for the other shoe to drop and have this relationship explode in my face. i just keep ... waiting ... for the bad ... and i don't want to live my life that way at all. that is a horrible waste of perfectly good days! bad stuff will happen and i will have my family, my friends and my faith to sustain me. i did it before. why can't i trust in that ... and not let all this crap crowd and color my days?

but.

i am relaxed. my home is comfy and clean. i am creating. i've had a few sales. the holidays are upon us (and i am just ITCHING to play a charlie brown christmas in my car!!). oh and i have the best family and friends a girl can ask for. it doesn't get any better than this. so, dang it, jessica, let yourself enjoy this!! :)

good times.

what an amazing weekend!! :) we drove up to dave's friend w's home in happy valley, pa. i of course loved the farm country and the amish grocery store (!!! i bought this quilt wall hanging from a roadside stand!!!)

but the real fun was making this little guy while relaxing in the beautiful and amazing home of dave's good friend w while the boys caught up. i'd heard a lot about him over the last 18 months but had never met him. dave wanted to ask him to be in the wedding so i suggested a visit. it was about a 3.5 hour drive but it really wasn't too bad. we got there friday night and got back today around noon. w's home was AMAZING!!! and it was so nice to finally meet a good friend of dave's. he cooked us an wonderful dinner and we lots of chats and laughs. he has three kitties and one of them kept us entertained all weekend. AND, while dave and w caught up with each other, i sewed jackie o'terrapin as a thank you to our host! :)

spent the rest of today day resisting the call of the bed AND the couch (can i tell you how difficult that was???) and baked mom's birthday cake, cleaned, straightened and watched some football. we are heading over to mom's once dave is home from rehearsal to finish celebrating mom's birthday. busy busy weekend ... but SO refreshing!! :)

i still plan on reopening my etsy shop and posting a giveaway ... soon! :) this weekend got a little away from me. :) i was too busy having a good time!!

xo

well ... it wasn't SO bad ...

and so ... it rained yesterday. a lot. when we were first setting up, i had to send dave on a lint brush mission (HOW do i forget a lint brush?? i work in fabric and felt and yarn ... and have a CAT!?!?) the rain started to come down pretty hard and i had to call him to buy a tent. :( it made me mad because it effectively ate all my profits ... but i suppose it will be needed if i do this often. :/ we had a break mid-day but then it started up again around 2pm and we ended up packing it in at 3pm (an hour early).

dave was a very good partner and helper. thanks honey!!! :)

one half of the table ...

the other half of the table ... the apples ended up being the hit of the day!

all in all it was a good experience and i got lots of "oh this is SO cute!" :) and, of course, i SOLD some things too, so that keeps me going! :o) i think i will continue to try .. continue to put myself out there ... continue to work on new and cute things ... because i think i am on the right path. :)

now i am excited to clean my apartment, catch up on my LBF Quilt-a-long and finish up Maddy's quilt for Ann Marie. :) but tonight, tonight is rest with my honey on the couch and a football game on the tv. :)

xo

ps - watch for the grand reopening of my etsy shop in the coming week!! there will be a give-away to celebrate!!! :)

so busy ... so good! :o)

so busy these days ... but it's been all good things!! :) i am on week three of the LittleBitFunky quilt challenge brought to us by sweet Crystal. and here is a little preview of my progress ...

i still don't really believe i will have a quilt when all is said and done! but, i won't think such negative thoughts!! ;o) i am combatting my perfectionist qualities with this quilt. no templates? no pencil markings? no pining? ahhhhhhh! :) but i will perservere!!!

and speaking of quilts, i decided to make ann marie's twin girls fleece quilts for their 3rd birthday. a week before the actual party. and i've never made something like this before in my life. ever. i figured that HAD to be a sign of insanity. "hmmm ... i've never made a quilt before ... lets make TWO in a week!" i, of course, did not finish in time for their sunday birthday party ... but i showed ann marie my progress so she could see the goodies that are coming ... and i did finish Sydney's this week ...

since my sewing machine is pretty basic and i don't know how to do anything other than sew in a straight line, i had to stitch the binding by hand! hence, the length of time it is taking me to finish ... but, i'm getting there!

hmm ... let's see ... what else has been going on ...

we've been eating, sleeping and breathing football these days! dave and i went to a giants preseason game ...

and jets training camp ...

(dave watches ALL football like a coach. it's the cutest thing!)

and we are off to the giants and jets preseason game today after little anthony's birthday party. :o)

~*~

my craft show is QUICKLY approaching ... and i am starting to panic. do i have enough completed? is what i have good enough? i didn't complete NEARLY what i wanted to ... i am free and clear on sunday and i plan to spend the day sewing ... here's hoping i finish A LOT of stuff. OH! and miss crystal made me THIS for my table since i knew i wouldn't have time to make my own ...

isn't it the sweetest?!?! i can't wait to see it in person!!! :o) thanks crystal!

~*~

work is work ... it's fine ... but it SO does not fit in with my crafty lifestyle!! but i am working HARD at not letting that be a factor. i am trying to do SOMETHING each day ... wether it's sew a few strips together or put some stitches into a binding or cut some fabric. if i have to work at a job that sucks the very lifeforce from me (hehe) then i will spend my remaining hours crocheting!! :)

~*~

oh and we picked a wedding date and reception hall ... October 16th, 2010!!!! and we want to look at going to tuscany on our honeymoon! and we are pretty sure we know who our caterer will be! IT'S HAPPENING!!!!! eeeep! :o)

~*~

and ... that's all i got guys! off i go to get ready for birthday parties and football! have a sweet weekend!

relax.

vacation was amazing. two and half weeks off replenished my soul like i can't even explain. before the wedding i felt like i could just loose it and harm someone at work. i would sleep and wake up tired. my home was a mess and life was just overwhelming me. but these past 17 days off have made me feel like a human again.

first was kyle and jen's wedding. what a beautiful bride and an amazing couple they make. everything basically went off without a hitch and we all had a lot of fun.

its so strange to think that my little brother is married ... is a husband ... has a wife ... has his own home ... it blows my mind actually! but i am so happy for them ... i love jen like a sister and friend ... they make just the best couple ... and i pray SO hard that they live the happily ever after. they both deserve it.

next up with our vacation. we spent a week in plum island and then 2 days in boston. we had a truly amazing time. we both needed to decompress and relax very badly. and once we did, we reconnected and had just the best time. we slept late, spent time on the beach, did a little exploring, ate like pigs, read, shopped, talked, planned ... boston was gorgeous and once again i dreamt about moving there. it's definately something that we talked about ... but moving so far from family and his theater just isn't an option unfortunately. but we loved the visit just the same.

i also had a lot of fun with my new camera (as if you couldn't tell! :p)

*sigh!* it was all heaven. the following week we bummed around, was extremely lazy (which felt SO decadent! and SO amazing!). i finished up my turtle Ami from the Roxycraft pattern ... and created my own pattern for a piggie. she still needs some tweaking ... but came out cute all the same.

i've hesitated signing up for the craft show this september because i don't have any vacation time left and i am unsure what my inventory will look like ... but dave encouraged me to do it ... so i think i will drop the check off today. a little nervous about that ... but ... well ... at least that gives me a goal.

i did a lot of life thinking these past 2 weeks. it's time i put aside any residual fears and start planning this wedding. my life seriously needs a little discipline. i need to loose some weight (stop eating SO MUCH garbage!!! you don't feel well afterwards anyway!!). i need to stop whining and just get things done. i need to relax at work and stop putting so much stress on myself. i just need a little structure. a little more focus. and maybe, somehow, a few more breaks from work to keep this perspective. i swear people would be more productive if they had a week off after every 6 or so weeks they worked. i know i would be. i was useless before kyle's wedding.

anyway ... i just want to work really hard at life. i don't want to overdo it ... but i just want to stop being so lazy and lamenting the fact that i never have time. i will be even busier when i have children ... i need to learn how to squeeze the most from a day now!!

i know it's only wednesday but i have spent a whole two days on my cleaning schedule. i am getting things done. i couldn't sleep anymore so, instead of laying in bed playing video games (which isn't bad SOME of the time ... but not ALL of the time), i got up, made coffee (still working on achieving that perfect cup ...), wrote this post and will crochet until i have to get in the shower. dave and i are eating at home. i am bringing lunch. i am watching my calories. i love love LOVE doing nothing, relaxing, etc ... but i crave a little structure. i blame my mom for that!!! :p

and i am doing a lot of thinking about my crafts ... and i really really want to work hard on them. i want to create a strong etsy presence ... i just have to figure out what direction to go in. but that is my goal for the rest of the year ... to really really focus and work hard to get this baby off the ground!!! :o)

sparkly shiny people

i can't believe it's been almost a month since i've posted!  i have like 20 saved posts that i haven't finished ... written in all manner of foul and stinky moods ... and then i go back to them a day or so later and am not feeling it, so i never post them.  and so i thought it was time to actually post something today.  you know, for like the .5 readers i have anyway.  :o)

so ... what's been going on in my life?  well, dave and i got ENGAGED.  yep.  i know, you're shocked.  ;o)  we haven't made any definitive plans ... but we were thinking about a nice NEXT june or july wedding.  right now, i am just enjoying being in this limbo state where there is no pressure and nothing to do except kick around ideas and staring at my ring in various lighting to see where i get the best sparkle!  :o)

(mah bling)

i had a bit of a freak out period, of course.  i was extremely anxious about "taking the plunge" again.  i was worried that we would get married and things would instantly turn into yuckiness.  worried about joining everything and the expense of a wedding and then failure again.  but ... i've relaxed a bit ... and am just trusting my instincts (against MY better judgement!!! my track record SUCKS), the opinions of those around me and God.  it's extremely hard to do this ... but i'm too tired to worry anymore!

and so ... we are getting married.  we have a joint checking account.  he let me get hello kitty checks.  he bought me QUITE a ring.  he rubs my stinky work feet.  :)  he must really love me, right???

so ... what else?  work is ... the same.  i have stressful days ... and i have days where i love my job.  i am convinced that H is plotting to get rid of me ... but, hey, all i can do is my best and see what happens.  and i am trying my best.  i love my store and my people.  i am trying very hard to roll out and follow all the corporate baloney.  and i am counting down the days until i can demote myself to bookseller!  LOL.  oh well.  all i can do is take it one day at a time.

my etsy shop is collecting dust.  i am really into amigurumi ... and have great ideas ... but am too tired by the time i get home from work to really do anything but sit in front of the tv and whine (and wine :P).  and a day off these days doesn't necessarily equal sleeping in and relaxing.  i am ... craftually frustrated.  i am thisclose to just buying crafty things from etsy and claiming them as mine.  lol.  no, not really.  i could never do that.  but it's BAD when i am actually entertaining that thought.

hmmm.  i am trying to loose weight.  i am eating better and have cut out a lot of crap.  but the weight is hanging on and frustrating the heck out of me.  but, the way i see it is, unless i make a "life change" and not just "go on a diet" ... i will be carrying around this extra stuff forever.  so i am trying to focus more on just being *relatively healthy* rather than "INEEDTOLOOSEAMILLIONPOUNDSBYJULY".  so there is that.  lol.  think i'll go have a pudding now.  hehe.

i am working hard at staying organized.  keeping my home pretty clean and clutter-free.  i try to do a little each day so that i don't wake up one morning and the dishes and laundry are threatening to attack.  i do a little straightening, a little cleaning each day ... and try to stay afloat.  dave is a HUGE help (which still shocks my soul!) and helps with the money and budget ... it's just amazing living an adult life with a true partner and not just someone is along for the ride. :)  ok, so maybe i AM making the right decision for a change! ;o)

and that's about it.  taking a vacation day tomorrow and spending it with dave and his mum.  going to try and find a fancy dress for noelle's wedding and the bat mitzvah the week after.  trying to live the best i can each day ... and not let the daily crankiness and stress take me over.  :)

it's all good! :)

good times.

hello all! :)  things have been busy and good these last few days.  had a super fun weekend with my boy ... saw his new show, Neverending Story, on Saturday (really really AMAZING! :)

  and then we, along with Jeremy and Tommy, took a ride up to Mt. Airy.  we ate at a great place on deck overlooking the Shawnee Golf Course (and I had THE BEST dirty martini i have ever ingested with bleu cheese stuffed olives!!!) and then we went to play the slots at Mt. Airy.  i admit to getting a BIT peeved when Dave was up $300 and then gave it all back XD ... but aside from that little bump, we had a blast.  we spent the night at Jeremy's Amazing House and we were going to go to the Crossings for a little shoppng but ended up sleeping in and then getting breakfast and going home.  it was a nice weekend! :)

tonight i made chocolate dipped pretzels and think they came out good.  here are some pictures ... SOMEday i will take good photos ... X(

have i mentioned that i LOVE my chocolate melting pot???

dipped pretzels awaiting their decorations.

yummy.

mittens wanted to play with the pretzels too! :)

pink chocolate ...

i tried sprinkles first.  the teeny hearts looked the best.

but the drizzles looked the best! :)  

i love them!  haha.  and managed to not eat too many! :)

weekends are awesome! :)

good weekend.  busy ... but very relaxing and fun.  dinner last night with the family and denise, harry and danny was a blast.  then home to watch 24 and crochet.  finished this little guy ... 

then started another one.  Froggie is going in an easter basket for stacie and the one i am working on now is for kyle.  i want to make lots and send them to people and give them as presents!  how fun is that?!

today stacie and i went to kelly's and made these adorable little cupcake candies ...

they were surprisingly easy!  we are going to make them for easter too!  mom loved them and wants to help.  i am sure with the three of us, hilarity will ensue.  :o)

then i cleaned the apartment.  it needed it so bad and i just HATE living in a dirty home.  i did almost everything except the bathroom floor ... but i will do that tomorrow while dave is at school.  and i will *TRY* so hard to keep up with the clean so that it doesn't get gross again.  *sigh*  it is shocking how much cat hair, dust and my hair ends up EVERYWHERE!!! ;o)

dave and i just finished applebees take-out and now we are watching law and order.  i am crocheting on the couch.  i LOVE home and being with him and vegging out!  hence, i suppose, the dirty apartment.  lol.

here's to a good week! 

holy crap days off with Dave are fun! :)

today was just the best day!  dave couldn't take much time off this week, so we canceled our toronto trip idea and even scrapped the nyc and atlantic city plans.  i had to go to staten island this week for my "secret shopper" thingy so we decided to do that at least today.  since i am a dork, i actually enjoy going to other barnes and nobles to see how they are laid out and merchandised.  and since my store is small and without cafe or music, i also like getting a latte and wandering the aisles, shopping the gift department or listening to some cds.  and my beloved is a dork as well, so he was equally excited about spending time in a bookstore and our "secret mission".  he took to secret shopping like an actor to a stage.  he helped me out and reported back all the pertinent information like how clean the men's room was and who said what to whom in the music department.  he even offered to go in costume and wear a monocle.  this is why i love this boy! :)

so anyway, we went to staten island.  since we didn't go away, we spent the money we would have on a room on coffee, music and books instead (you would SWEAR we hadn't been in a bookstore in months! ;).  afterward, we stopped at carrabba's for a yummy appetizer, drinks and quite an involved conversation on work, titles and pay rates.  we came home to shakeys to just shoot for an hour ... but then dave messed with my grip and it was all over.  first i wanted to shoot so i could master the better grip ... then i started to get the hang of things and i couldn't stop.  i WANTED to beat him!!!  lol.  i didn't beat him but i did shoot pretty well.  let's hope this continues into tomorrow.

we FINALLY left shakeys (sans car again!) and came home to my mittens kitty, american idol, and ate our take-out lamb stew and corned beef on the couch. :)  now dave is reading his new Zombie Comics book, the life aquatic is on tv, and, once i am done with typing this i am going to do a little crocheting. :)  yay to days off and time spent with dave!!! :)

wonderful weekend!

hello hello. :)  we had such great weekend!  saturday stacie and i went to Gap and shopped till we dropped.  her discount is AWESOME!  i got a pair of great jeans, some t-shirts and a few cardigans.  then i splurged at Coach and got a cute black wristlet.  it was so much fun!!!  saturday night we went to dave's aunt and uncle's home for the annual Spellman St. Patrick's Day Party.  it was a blast and the corned beef and cabbage was amazing!!!  :)  we spent the night at dave's parent's house and then today jimmy, alissa and baby anthony picked us up and we went to garden to watch the Rangers beat the Flyers!!!  ican't believe a nearly 7 month old baby sat thru an entire hockey game content!  he was so good and so cute all decked out in his hockey gear just watching everything going on. :)  then we came back and had a wonderful dinner with dave's mom.  what a great couple of days. :o)

now i am sitting on the couch watching will ferrell in his george bush show (cue dave's hysterical giggle here! LOL.) and working on some new amigurumi patterns that i purchased off of etsy! :)  and guess what?  i am off ALL WEEK!!!  YAY!!! vacations are rocking my socks right OFF! :)

oh what a night ...

work was good and productive.  i freaked out a bit when i realized my reviews are due on monday ... i lost yesterday to snow and friday and saturday to being sick ... so i am a little behind.  but ... i am not TOTALLY freaking out ... yet.  LOL.  yeah, this is the new calm, cool and collected jessica! ;o) and this will last just about until sunday night when the real freak out occurs. ;)

dave made a pot roast tonight that was just amazing.  i am SO full.  even mittens enjoyed a little taste! :)  we watched american idol ... and i crocheted some more.  i got the skirt finished on my break today at work and then it took me all night to make one little arm!!!  i really struggled with the back post single crochet.  but now that i know the general idea of how to do it ... i hope the next arm won't take as long.  then comes the face.  i actually thought today of making her a little girl doll instead of an amigurumi animal ... or making a little bonnet for the head ... not sure what direction i am going to take it.  i don't have to decide just yet ... still have another ARM to finish!!!  arg!

off tomorrow ... coffee with mom planned ... laundry ... a little cleaning ... i should bake for maria's little party tomorrow but i am just not feeling cookies tho.  maybe cupcakes?  we will have to see!

alrighty i am gonna start the other arm before bed ... wish me luck!