days like today - dave and i bumming around, running errands, doing some things around the home, enjoying each other's company - just make me so happy. there was a time i thought i would never have lazy sundays with someone. there was a time that i thought that, even if i did have someone to share a lazy sunday with, i would be too busy worrying about life and the world to actually enjoy it. there was a time where i just didn't believe that there was someone out there who even WANTED to share a lazy sunday with me.
but. i was proved wrong. huh. go figure.
my faith has struggled a lot over the last few years. i am still not where i was ... and pretty sullen towards God. i don't blame him ... i don't ask him why ... i don't even care why. he's just been ... quiet. and i don't really listen for him anymore.
but i am working on changing that.
and, even if things are a little quiet and strange on the spirituality front, i can and am still thankful for a lot of blessings. i know how to live on my own ... and i know i can SURVIVE on my own. that was a HUGE learning experience. i also am thankful for the wonderful people in my life to share everything with. and then there is my dave. :) there, even when God is not speaking to me (or i can't hear him ... or forgot how to listen ...), in my life is a boy who is so patient, so loving, so kind, so supportive ... how can i not think he's a blessing? how can i not see that God had something amazing in mind for me when life blew up in my face? how can i not be thankful for a guy who likes to spend sundays riding around, running errands and vegging at home with me? *sigh*
sometimes i look at my life ... i realize it's been awhile since i've been scared ... or hurting ... i realize that this is what happiness is ... and i am thankful all over again. :)