Monday, May 18, 2009

sparkly shiny people

i can't believe it's been almost a month since i've posted!  i have like 20 saved posts that i haven't finished ... written in all manner of foul and stinky moods ... and then i go back to them a day or so later and am not feeling it, so i never post them.  and so i thought it was time to actually post something today.  you know, for like the .5 readers i have anyway.  :o)

so ... what's been going on in my life?  well, dave and i got ENGAGED.  yep.  i know, you're shocked.  ;o)  we haven't made any definitive plans ... but we were thinking about a nice NEXT june or july wedding.  right now, i am just enjoying being in this limbo state where there is no pressure and nothing to do except kick around ideas and staring at my ring in various lighting to see where i get the best sparkle!  :o)

(mah bling)

i had a bit of a freak out period, of course.  i was extremely anxious about "taking the plunge" again.  i was worried that we would get married and things would instantly turn into yuckiness.  worried about joining everything and the expense of a wedding and then failure again.  but ... i've relaxed a bit ... and am just trusting my instincts (against MY better judgement!!! my track record SUCKS), the opinions of those around me and God.  it's extremely hard to do this ... but i'm too tired to worry anymore!

and so ... we are getting married.  we have a joint checking account.  he let me get hello kitty checks.  he bought me QUITE a ring.  he rubs my stinky work feet.  :)  he must really love me, right???

so ... what else?  work is ... the same.  i have stressful days ... and i have days where i love my job.  i am convinced that H is plotting to get rid of me ... but, hey, all i can do is my best and see what happens.  and i am trying my best.  i love my store and my people.  i am trying very hard to roll out and follow all the corporate baloney.  and i am counting down the days until i can demote myself to bookseller!  LOL.  oh well.  all i can do is take it one day at a time.

my etsy shop is collecting dust.  i am really into amigurumi ... and have great ideas ... but am too tired by the time i get home from work to really do anything but sit in front of the tv and whine (and wine :P).  and a day off these days doesn't necessarily equal sleeping in and relaxing.  i am ... craftually frustrated.  i am thisclose to just buying crafty things from etsy and claiming them as mine.  lol.  no, not really.  i could never do that.  but it's BAD when i am actually entertaining that thought.

hmmm.  i am trying to loose weight.  i am eating better and have cut out a lot of crap.  but the weight is hanging on and frustrating the heck out of me.  but, the way i see it is, unless i make a "life change" and not just "go on a diet" ... i will be carrying around this extra stuff forever.  so i am trying to focus more on just being *relatively healthy* rather than "INEEDTOLOOSEAMILLIONPOUNDSBYJULY".  so there is that.  lol.  think i'll go have a pudding now.  hehe.

i am working hard at staying organized.  keeping my home pretty clean and clutter-free.  i try to do a little each day so that i don't wake up one morning and the dishes and laundry are threatening to attack.  i do a little straightening, a little cleaning each day ... and try to stay afloat.  dave is a HUGE help (which still shocks my soul!) and helps with the money and budget ... it's just amazing living an adult life with a true partner and not just someone is along for the ride. :)  ok, so maybe i AM making the right decision for a change! ;o)

and that's about it.  taking a vacation day tomorrow and spending it with dave and his mum.  going to try and find a fancy dress for noelle's wedding and the bat mitzvah the week after.  trying to live the best i can each day ... and not let the daily crankiness and stress take me over.  :)

it's all good! :)

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